take me for who I am

--
when I woke: 1 p.m.
what I'm wearing: cozy teal sweats and a t-shirt
what I've done: hmm... ortho, read a bit, laid out, ate some cereal
weather report: perfectly warm, slightly cloudy, a lazy sunny day
high of the weekend: going to Indy friday for the Chris Young concert
low of the weekend: not sleeping
song playing: all the same- sick puppies
plans for the night: doing nothing and loving every minute
--


It's on days like this that I can think and sort through the 80 mph thoughts that have been racing across my mind for what seems like an endless amount of days. Life should have slowed down since being out of school, but instead, every other area has picked up the slack and increased my constant processing.
The new job has gone unbelievably well, and not surprisingly, me and lisa get along wonderfully like we always have. Mainly it's when we just let each other live our own seperate lives and don't really invade much, but that's okay. We can still talk about anything and everything when the need arises and that's what matters. We do trust each other explicitely.
The summer is looking to be full of fairs, concerts, road trips, time spent at the lake, and as much sun as my skin will allow me to get. Which is exactly how I like it, so there's no complaining from me!
My family has changed a lot in the last few weeks. My brother Denny and his g/f Brandi are having a baby in December and I am so thrilled. They really are adorable together and I can see the excitement in my brother's eyes as he talks about it. In the beginning it may have been an invasion to his freestyle life, but he has taken it in stride and been the man I've always admired in him. He'll be such an amazing father.
Becky took a traveling nurse job and she is starting out in Tampa. She leaves in about a week and a half and it will be hard to see her go. We've never been as close as I would like because we're just so completely different. Her and Lisa'a personalities are so much more alike, and I tend to be the odd-sister-out in that scenario. But I will still miss playing tennis with her, talking about new release books that I bought to read and pass on, discussing the funny family going-ons, and just the laid back comfort in the way we accept each other and enjoy the fact we'll always disagree on some things but that it doesn't really matter. I still have to think of something special I can do for her before she goes.
I have to take my Basic EMT certification test soon and am just not in the mood to study now that summer is here. But I will because I know I need to. My common sense always wins out in the end . . . annoying I know. But what's a little test now after everything else right? Then it will be my Medic School pretest later in the summer and hopefully get in. If not, I have no idea what the heck I'll be doing.
I've also been having mini reflective moments of late. Seeing things just a bit clearer as I step back from the situation. How I treat people, the tone I use, the words I choose. I've been trying to be more conscious of others' and not so self-centered. I do see now why others have told me I get very aloof and introspective at times, mainly because I notice it myself. When things are on my mind I tend to shut out a lot and focus on it. Proving that I really do not multitask as well as I first imagined. When things are in the forefront of my mind, it's all I see. But in return, I've also been working on analyzing those things and storing them away a bit more quickly and easily. Not dwelling on them all the time, but designating times that seem much more appropriate to deal with it all. Not letting time with my friends and family get ruined because I have an insane amount of thoughts running through my head like a freak ;)
Maybe I'll have a more insightful post tonight. For now, here's some lyrics that are far too true at the moment. Music amazes me.

I woke up one morning to find myself wrapped in the things I swore I’d never touch.
And here I am again trying to save what’s left of you and I
So why aren’t you satisfied?
I tried to get it right
But I was just wastin’ my time ‘cause you never compromised when it came to us
We struggle and fall apart we build it back to static start
The endless accusations I can’t believe we made it this far.
I reached out, fell short