my dying day

You know, I think if anyone had even attempted to talk to me yesterday, I would have told you I was dying.

I have been known to possess a fairly high pain tolerance, but I did not know braces could hurt that bad. The pain made me sick to my stomach, which in turn made me throw up every couple hours even after there was nothing left to throw up. I had the chills, the shakes, and only the mental capacity to know I wanted sleep and more pain pills. I just left the bottle next to my bed, and I'd wakeup , attempt to calculate how long it'd been... and if it was a sufficient amount of time, took more pills and went back to sleep. I was only awake from 3-5pm, and 8-11pm. The rest was spent in my bed, under my covers, and trying not to talk or even move my mouth in any way. My mother would come check on me and I'd just mumble something and roll over while she would pat my back, say a prayer, and leave me some more water. The highlight was being able to talk to my stepmom for a bit last night. Mostly she talked and I said "uh huh" or "huh uh", but did manage a few sentences and coherant thoughts. It was nice to have her pray for me and not mind when I said "hold on a minute I have to go throw up", and then come back and finish talking. Those are the people you love lol.

But thankfully today was much better. Since I had so much sleep the last two days I was awake at 5:30 am. I kind of dozed until my mom came down at 6:30 with some sprite and more pills. By then I was pretty much wide awake and managed to stay up and read until10:30. Mostly it was to make sure I wouldn't throw anything else up, but being able to finish my book was an added bonus. The sleep once again found me until 2:30 this afternoon. I did manage to eat today so that was encouraging. And my orthodontist called and assured me that the day after is always the worst and that from today on it should only get better. That was lovely. I almost wanted to hug her. Almost.

I was definitely looking scary after 3 days of only knowing my bed and not being willing to venture outside at all. So today after showering, eating dinner, and managing to curl my hair, I felt human once again. My mouth is still sore, but I only pray it gets better. And now I am going to try and brave the world while attending youth tonight. Not many people know I was even getting braces so it will be interesting trying to dodge everyone and hide in my corner during worship. Maybe I can make an escape without too many people wanting to talk. Fat chance. but hey, worth the effort.

Hopefully this wasn't as depressing as it sounded while writing it. I am doing better and am grateful for that. And maybe I won't want to rip these things off every day of the next year and a half. I guess that is all for now. I must quit stalling and actually leave. Here I go. Wish me luck.