interesting ideas

So, I have always thought that I am a fairly easy person to know. That I'm pretty simple, I'm mostly laid back and go-with-the-flow, and that I'm really not a dramatic person. You see, lately it's come up more than once with people, that I'm more complicated than I think I am. Or that I try to come off as simple, when in reality, I am much more complicated. And then i was told that I don't talk about anything, that no one ever knows when I'm mad, or sad, or in pain, or annoyed, etc... Does that make sense? I don't know how well I'm explaining this because I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Am I complicated? I never thought I was. Maybe I do avoid confrontation to an extent because who does like it? And I may not get pissed off and start yelling when I get mad, but that's just because I tend to just get quiet, and relax, and let it go before it really bothers me. Because most of the time there are a lot of things that aren't worth the energy to get mad over. Granted, some issues need to be dealt with, but I think all in all it's more me trying to control my anger than anything. I don't want to say or do something in the heat of the moment that I would later regret. Instead I walk away, I take a few deep breaths, I get a good perspective on it, and then I know what I feel and where I stand and if anything even needs to be said. I can understand where I'm hard to read sometimes, mostly because I don't feel like everyone needs to wear their heart on their sleeve. But to my close friends, to the people that do know me-- they hear all my frustrations, all my annoyances, all my anger and pain over situations and circumstances, and they know right where I stand with the people and relationships in my life. Is that wrong? To not trust everyone I know, work with, and associate with? I guess I always reasoned I couldn't spread myself that thin, because it takes a lot of time and energy to keep close friendships with a lot of people, and I have a hard enough time staying close to all the great friends I have right now. I don't know. I just hate that it's come up a few times, granted it's normally said by people who want me to trust them with more, but still...

Just a few thoughts running through my head today. And to brittany b/c you're prolly the only one that reads this still-- I love you friend. "If you have nothing good to say, better tell it to people you trust." I know that I can say anything to you and that's one of the many things I love about you. You can make me laugh when I'm down, can make me go see a scary movie when I need to just get out and do something, can make me relax when I'm frustrated, and can sit and read with me when I just need to be a bum. There's nothing better than that. You've been such a good friend, and hopefully I can be that to you. So thanks. You're pretty much the best.

I'm off to do some hw and listen to some music really loud since I'm home alone. Gotta love that --